Help!
Posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13: Previous Next
I need help.
My parents keep making me cut my hair for various reasons. I am 17 years old and I am basically done with college interviews. My hair is at my ears, where it basically has been for a couple years. I highly desire long hair opposed to the basic short-hair look.
They are using the excuse that I need to cut my hair for college scholarships now. Only one college visited so far said that they require another interview, but my parents still persist.
I know I could just wait another year til I am away, but I'd much rather have long hair going in. I've already waited for a year just for interviews, and that was horrible.
If anyone has had long hair through this college application process please help me. Even if you haven't, please, any advice can help.
Thanks,
Dan.
Re: Help!
Posted by Curly David on October 03, 2000 at 06:38:29: Previous Next
In Reply to: Help! posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13:
Sounds like a crock to me. Any college administrator is used to seeing long hair on guys, lots of it. Look around the campuses. I'll bet that the only ones that are anywhere near 100% shorthair are the military service academies. Some Christian fundementalist enclaves, who peddle closed-minded ignorance under the guise of higher education, may demand short hair as well.
That being said, you may indeed have to wait until you get out of the house to grow it. But don't be surprised if your dad keeps coming up with new "reasons." His boss coming for dinner, cousin Selma's wedding, a summer job, etc. If a true control freak chooses to fixate on hair length, believe me, it never ends.
BTW, I speak from experience. I didn't get to grow mine until I was married and my dad passed away. Good old Mom kept up the harassment until her dying day, too.
christians aren't closed minded!
Posted by steven on October 04, 2000 at 09:56:00: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Help! posted by Curly David on October 03, 2000 at 06:38:29:
Just for the note, I am one of several longhairs at my church, where I am active on the technical committe. I work with sound & lighting for the services. One of our other longhairs is the organist. Outside of a few jokes by the pastor, who is pretty much completely bald now (and wishes he could grow long hair), nobody even gives it a second though here. Our church is not closed minded, and lets anybody in the door who seeks fellowship with the lord no matter how they are dressed, what color their skin, how long their hair, or whatever they are dressed in. (I came to worship in a kilt a few times!)
I've been out of college for about 5 years, but you are certainly right about long hair on campus! When I went to ODU was when I grew my hair out. It was the norm, not the exception :) We have a big surfer crowd down there, being only a few minutes from the ocean. The typical male around ODU was the surf bum with sholder-length blond hair.
:
: Sounds like a crock to me. Any college administrator is used to seeing long hair on guys, lots of it. Look around the campuses. I'll bet that the only ones that are anywhere near 100% shorthair are the military service academies. Some Christian fundementalist enclaves, who peddle closed-minded ignorance under the guise of higher education, may demand short hair as well.
Re: Help!
Posted by wolfgang on October 03, 2000 at 10:31:56: Previous Next
In Reply to: Help! posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13:
From my own experiences I can say that parents fixed on short hair never stop to argue it away (now I am 47). Planning a journey the first advice from my mother: I should go to a hairdresser, although I plan to go to a long hair meeting. During my school time I forced it against the wishes of my parents, but sometimes it was really terrible, family feelings run away. After school time military catched the hair, I have fighted for so much time. With the age of 20 I could let it grow after my own wishes (at university), but my parents all times tried to argue it away. No compromise for long hair. Currently I think it is more important to stand for my own wishes as to fulfill my parents opinions about my appearance. I regret it that I was forced so much time to cut it for someone's opinion, but it ever comes back.
I think it is important for you to enter this college (or another one). I would try different possibilities, but it is more important for you to continue your education. If your hair is not very long you can regrow it at the college time (1 cm each month). I think it is not necessary to get a hair cut for entering a college (if it is not a special one), but I am not familiar with the situation in your country.
You Don't pay for these haircuts do you?
Posted by Merle Unruh on October 03, 2000 at 13:46:56: Previous Next
In Reply to: Help! posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13:
DO you have to pay for the haircuts? If so just stop paying for them. Or you could do just the opposite and cut your hair more often becuase the more you cut it the more it grows so when you start to grow it long it will grow faster, also drink a lot of water too. DOn't worry about looking the way they want you to look for college, it really doesn't make that much of a difference.
Nope
Posted by Dan on October 03, 2000 at 13:56:59: Previous Next
In Reply to: You Don't pay for these haircuts do you? posted by Merle Unruh on October 03, 2000 at 13:46:56:
: DO you have to pay for the haircuts? If so just stop paying for them. Or you could do just the opposite and cut your hair more often becuase the more you cut it the more it grows so when you start to grow it long it will grow faster, also drink a lot of water too. DOn't worry about looking the way they want you to look for college, it really doesn't make that much of a difference.
No, I don't pay for the haircuts.
Will cutting it more actually make it grow faster?
Re: Nope
Posted by john on October 03, 2000 at 14:07:21: Previous Next
In Reply to: Nope posted by Dan on October 03, 2000 at 13:56:59:
cutting hair will -not- make it grow faster. hair is non-living organic matter that grows from its root within your scalp. there is nothing you can do to the end of a hair that will cause its root to generate cellular matter any faster. if you take care of your hair, snip split ends when you discover them (look for them), and treat your hair gently when it is wet, your hair will attain all the length genetics will permit.
Re: Help!
Posted by cam on October 03, 2000 at 14:15:53: Previous Next
In Reply to: Help! posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13:
A person can always make up excuse to keep cutting your hair. The time to have long hair for you is now and if you want to do it do it. The next excuse your parents will probably come up with to cut your hair is that you need to look professional for job interviews that you will have before you graduate from school. One thing about long hair is that you cannot cut off a foot and then grow back in a month it is a process that takes years and you have to be comfortable with it no matter what situation you are in. One thing about short hair though is that it will fare better in life because it is more socially acceptable. I also feel that if long hair is you then keep it because it its you and to try to do something because everybody else does it,is stupid.
Re: Help!
Posted by sam79 on October 04, 2000 at 12:07:01:
In Reply to: Help! posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13:
Unless you're going to a military school, they don't give a rat's behind how long your hair is. [Even if it's VMI, they won't reject you for long hair, they'll just point out that you'll have to cut it when classes start.] Just make sure it's clean and combed to show respect for the process. The only point of the interview is to make sure you actually exist and that there is no glaringly obvious reason why you might not succeed in college.
That said, until you pay all your own bills you will have to accommodate your parents wishes regarding your hair. Once you are independent, you can ignore the nagging and usually it will fade to a dull buzz once they realize you're serious. If you're successful in your chosen field, the buzz gets even quieter. Good luck!
Re: Help!
Posted by Jim on October 04, 2000 at 12:07:06:
In Reply to: Help! posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13:
: If anyone has had long hair through this college application process please help me. Even if you haven't, please, any advice can help.
I started growing my hair out during graduate school (in Engineering), where one is expected to be even more "conservative" in their appearance than as an undergraduate, with the conferences, presentations, teaching and the like. Not once has my long hair hindered me. When the time came for job interviews, I was nervous about the long hair and considered cutting it. I decided not to, because I figured that if a company were to discriminate against me because of something so trivial as hair length, I wouldn't want to work there anyway. I had 5 interviews, got 5 offers and am happily employed at a very well-paying job doing exactly what I wanted to do. I only wish I grew my hair out when I was younger (like your age). I have had it for over 4 years now, and I am 28.
BTW, through all of this I also wear a pair of fairly large gauge earrings. The only negative thing is that most people assume I'm some sort of musician or artist rather than an engineer! I would also like to point out that I am a Christian and very proud of it.
Good luck for the exciting times you have ahead of you ... 17 is an age where you get to really form your own identity.
Re: Help!
Posted by viking on October 05, 2000 at 09:15:35: Previous Next
In Reply to: Help! posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13:
: I need help.
: My parents keep making me cut my hair for various reasons. I am 17 years old and I am basically done with college interviews. My hair is at my ears, where it basically has been for a couple years. I highly desire long hair opposed to the basic short-hair look.
: They are using the excuse that I need to cut my hair for college scholarships now. Only one college visited so far said that they require another interview, but my parents still persist.
: I know I could just wait another year til I am away, but I'd much rather have long hair going in. I've already waited for a year just for interviews, and that was horrible.
: If anyone has had long hair through this college application process please help me. Even if you haven't, please, any advice can help.
: Thanks,
: Dan.
:Hey Dan, I consider you at age 17 a young ADULT. Your parents shouldn't be controlling your hair. Are they going to control which college you go to? Are they going to decide what you are going to be majoring in in college, too? Are they going to decide who you will work for after college? I hope not!!! Tell your parents to get a life, and tell them to get out your hair. At 17, your old enough to make your decisions as to which college to go to, which major to persue, who you will work for after college, and other decisions YOU wish to make (and that includes what length you want your hair to be). And by the way, I went to college in the 1970's and my hair was just as long now as it was in high school and college. I did get it trimmed for interviews, but it still was long and I did find employment after college (even though some engineering firms I interviewed wanted me to get a short haircut, which I refused). Yes, I'm a transportation engineer.
Re: Help!
Posted by Victor on October 22, 2000 at 10:56:08: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Help! posted by viking on October 05, 2000 at 09:15:35:
: Hey Dan, I consider you at age 17 a young ADULT. Your parents shouldn't be controlling your hair. Are they going to control which college you go to? Are they going to decide what you are going to be majoring in in college, too? Are they going to decide who you will work for after college? I hope not!!! Tell your parents to get a life, and tell them to get out your hair. At 17, your old enough to make your decisions as to which college to go to, which major to persue, who you will work for after college, and other decisions YOU wish to make (and that includes what length you want your hair to be). And by the way, I went to college in the 1970's and my hair was just as long now as it was in high school and college. I did get it trimmed for interviews, but it still was long and I did find employment after college (even though some engineering firms I interviewed wanted me to get a short haircut, which I refused). Yes, I'm a transportation engineer.
This sort of insubordination should be taken only if you are willing to go completely on your own. If you intend to live with your parents, you must live with their rules.
Re: Help!
Posted by andrew on October 05, 2000 at 11:18:16: Previous Next
In Reply to: Help! posted by Dan on October 02, 2000 at 19:30:13:
Compromise with your parents.
Offer that you will cut your hair, but that you will choose the style. Of course the style you will choose will be to shave your head.
After Columbine High School, educators are SO much more receptive to skin heads. Your new creepy haircut will not only scare off the scholarship offers, but you might even get a few colleges to reconsider their acceptances. Mom and Dad will be thrilled!
Seriously, though, if you're 17 your parents are baby boomers. Maybe it would help to put things in perspective.
Dig in the attic for their high school and collge yearbooks, old photos, etc. Unless they were military, Dad was at LEAST sporting the Beattle mop top. Mom was probably doing really long hair. Offer that until you go way to college your hair length will not exceed what they had when they were younger. At that length, you'll be centimeters away from shoulder length hair.
Best of luck working it out