Longhair phobia
Posted by Bill on September 28, 2001 at 12:16:08: Previous Next
When we meet people, there are three possible reactions to our being a longhair. They can like us more for it, not care, or like us less for it. It's not surprising to any of us to sometimes encounter short-haired people who react negatively toward longhairs, but what I'm asking about here is this: Have any of you noticed a phobia for longhairs in other longhairs?
I ask this because I have. I've seen longhairs who will attend a party but actively avoid other longhairs. I've seen longhairs avoid eye contact with other longhairs on the street.
I realized such a phobia existed in myself for a short time when I first became a longhair. I found internalized within myself some of the negative stereotypes about longhairs that had been foisted upon me by society at large, and it took me awhile to shake them. Once I became a longhair myself, the existence of these stereotypes and my need to shake them became obvious to me and I finally confronted them.
It took longer for me to shake negative feelings with regards to my longhaired brethren, that it did for me to shake them with regards to myself. I was always relaxed around my longhair friends, but it took a couple of years as a longhair for an uneasiness around longhairs who were strangers to subside.
People moving into other communities experience this. I've heard it from gays and from deaf people, too. So we are not alone. Maybe some of us have not experienced it, or are not aware of it but will find they have such a phobia when they look inward. Perhaps some of you are very aware of it now.
Have any of you experienced this "longhair phobia" within yourselves or sensed it reared its head in other longhairs towards yourself?
Re: Longhair phobia
Posted by j.s. on September 28, 2001 at 16:03:57: Previous Next
In Reply to: Longhair phobia posted by Bill on September 28, 2001 at 12:16:08:
my guess would be that most guys who grow long hair would rather not establish a longhair community or gather in circles and discuss it. their decision to wear their hair long is more to dissociate themselves from the 'norm' than to associate themselves with other longhairs- thus any attempts by a stranger who happens to have long hair at unsolicited socialization will likely be met with no response at all if not a cold shoulder. it is not a community as such- no small wonder that there is no political clout to attend to such issues as workplace discrimination.
Re: Longhair phobia
Posted by Ken on September 28, 2001 at 16:57:51: Previous Next
In Reply to: Longhair phobia posted by Bill on September 28, 2001 at 12:16:08:
>I realized such a phobia existed in myself for a short time when I >first became a longhair.
When I had waist length hair I never noticed this. Maybe it was
the peope you hung around with.
Re: Longhair phobia
Posted by Matt C on September 29, 2001 at 03:51:43: Previous Next
In Reply to: Longhair phobia posted by Bill on September 28, 2001 at 12:16:08:
: When we meet people, there are three possible reactions to our being a longhair. They can like us more for it, not care, or like us less for it. It's not surprising to any of us to sometimes encounter short-haired people who react negatively toward longhairs, but what I'm asking about here is this: Have any of you noticed a phobia for longhairs in other longhairs?
: I ask this because I have. I've seen longhairs who will attend a party but actively avoid other longhairs. I've seen longhairs avoid eye contact with other longhairs on the street.
: I realized such a phobia existed in myself for a short time when I first became a longhair. I found internalized within myself some of the negative stereotypes about longhairs that had been foisted upon me by society at large, and it took me awhile to shake them. Once I became a longhair myself, the existence of these stereotypes and my need to shake them became obvious to me and I finally confronted them.
: It took longer for me to shake negative feelings with regards to my longhaired brethren, that it did for me to shake them with regards to myself. I was always relaxed around my longhair friends, but it took a couple of years as a longhair for an uneasiness around longhairs who were strangers to subside.
: People moving into other communities experience this. I've heard it from gays and from deaf people, too. So we are not alone. Maybe some of us have not experienced it, or are not aware of it but will find they have such a phobia when they look inward. Perhaps some of you are very aware of it now.
: Have any of you experienced this "longhair phobia" within yourselves or sensed it reared its head in other longhairs towards yourself?
Re: Longhair phobia
Posted by Matt C on September 29, 2001 at 03:53:52: Previous Next
In Reply to: Longhair phobia posted by Bill on September 28, 2001 at 12:16:08:
: When we meet people, there are three possible reactions to our being a longhair. They can like us more for it, not care, or like us less for it. It's not surprising to any of us to sometimes encounter short-haired people who react negatively toward longhairs, but what I'm asking about here is this: Have any of you noticed a phobia for longhairs in other longhairs?
I have noticed this kind of thing. Personally, I try to give a nod or smile to any longhair that I pass, but it's incredible how many longhairs seem to deliberately ignore the gesture. I think some people do get too egotistical about the 'individuality' thing. For me it's just an expression and a preference. I'm not challenging anyone.
Re: Longhair phobia
Posted by j.s. on September 29, 2001 at 04:45:03: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Longhair phobia posted by Matt C on September 29, 2001 at 03:53:52:
better answer than mine- if only less verbose... there does seem to be an egotistical air about some longhairs. their attitude is likely directed at shorthairs too - at least to an extent. it's tough to get a favorable impression about a group as a whole if so many of its members carry themselves with such arrogance.
Re: Longhair phobia
Posted by SHF on September 29, 2001 at 14:13:43:
In Reply to: Re: Longhair phobia posted by Matt C on September 29, 2001 at 03:53:52:
: I have noticed this kind of thing. Personally, I try to give a nod or smile to any longhair that I pass, but it's incredible how many longhairs seem to deliberately ignore the gesture. I think some people do get too egotistical about the 'individuality' thing. For me it's just an expression and a preference. I'm not challenging anyone.
Perhaps the longhairs that ignore the nod are either very shy, or quite possibly they are straight and homophobic. This is not to say that a mere nod is suggestive of anything sexual, but there are (sadly) still many men who have a severe phobia about looks (or nods) from other men that could possibly be construed as a "sexual" gesture.
Re: Longhair phobia
Posted by Karsten on September 29, 2001 at 09:43:20:
In Reply to: Longhair phobia posted by Bill on September 28, 2001 at 12:16:08:
I have noticed that other longhairs I encounter do seem to look away. I try to give a nod or a hello but few respond.
One of the bars I go to has a few longhaired guys (one of who is really hot with hair down to is butt!) who I am always looking at hoping to meet but they seem to show no interest and do not seem to have any interest in each other.
Just a side note: I drive a Jeep Wrangler...as I encounter other Jeep Wranglers on the road the drivers will 99% of the time give a quick wave as we pass. It's a nice feeling.
Re: Longhair phobia
Posted by Tim Beard on October 14, 2001 at 20:05:02:
In Reply to: Longhair phobia posted by Bill on September 28, 2001 at 12:16:08:
: Have any of you experienced this "longhair phobia" within yourselves or sensed it reared its head in other longhairs towards yourself?
I think it is social phobia. Of course the few people blessed with good social skills don't understand, but many if not most people find communication difficult.
On the street, I believe it's not realistic to expect to form meaningful long-term friendships with total strangers. I don't have any luck finding the right thing to say at the right time. I think most people feel the same way regardless of hair length.
At a party, I think it's easier to talk with people with long hair, especially if the topic is about a common interest such as long hair. But often the situation can be comparable to when a high school teenager sees somebody they like. They both get nervous and ignore each other because of shyness. This is probably normal for most people especially when making a change.
The social phobia is a problem our society fails to solve. Too many people measure the quality of life by money rather then friendships and security.