first attempt
Posted by Stu on September 14, 2001 at 23:48:49: Previous Next
Looking for help from other professionals. Although hair shouldn't make a difference, I have conformed to expectations of others regarding my hair length. Last December, with help of a great stylist, I decided to gradually start growing out from a conservative, corporate style haircut. I believe I am at a crossroad. With the back of my hair trimmed to one length, it is now approximately 2" past the bottom of my dress shirt collar and is starting to look 'very full' in the back. Sides are trimmed more conservatively. I'm in my early forties and like the look, but am concerned about career, etc. What suggestions can be offered if I continue the growth?
Re: first attempt
Posted by James on September 15, 2001 at 01:58:12: Previous Next
In Reply to: first attempt posted by Stu on September 14, 2001 at 23:48:49:
: Looking for help from other professionals. Although hair shouldn't make a difference, I have conformed to expectations of others regarding my hair length. Last December, with help of a great stylist, I decided to gradually start growing out from a conservative, corporate style haircut. I believe I am at a crossroad. With the back of my hair trimmed to one length, it is now approximately 2" past the bottom of my dress shirt collar and is starting to look 'very full' in the back. Sides are trimmed more conservatively. I'm in my early forties and like the look, but am concerned about career, etc. What suggestions can be offered if I continue the growth?
STU--
GO SLOW, BUT DON'T GO BACK. Before you allow a haircut or trim, go to a stylist and tell her/him that you are letting your hair grow longer, and that you would like x to style it in the way they think it looks best. If you do not like the results, shower and try again.
In one or two tries, you will find a stylist who you can go with and who you will permit to trim, a little, but trim your hair to shape a desired outcome.
If you go slow, and do your job well, and are friendly and ourteous to your fellow employees, even the maintainence help, then no one will notice that your hair has gotten longer, but you will develop a reputation of being a nicd guy.
Best,
Jim
Re: first attempt
Posted by Robert on September 15, 2001 at 06:50:03: Previous Next
In Reply to: first attempt posted by Stu on September 14, 2001 at 23:48:49:
I think a lot of it depends on you. If you are primarily taking your cues from your employer, you might as well go in and ask daddy permission to grow your hair out. I am not trying to be rude here, but the issue of men's hair in our culture often keeps us in the position of adolescent boys. My experience (I am a teacher) has been that if I go about growing my hair out with confidence, I am respected and basically left alone. I interviewed for a new job during the dreaded awkward stage. I got the job. Now, I wear my hair in a ponytail. It does present a very neat, professional look. I can wear jeans and a golf shirt, or I can wear a dark suit with conservative white shirt and tie. Either way, my hair is neat and clean. I think though, it is more of a personal attitude. I know what I do. I am good at it, and I take care not to give people reasons to complain, about me or my hair. No one has ever mentioned my hair. I am prepared, though, to tell them that my hair is not a qualification for what I do, and, if pushed, to ask whether similar inquiries have been made about my female colleagues hair.
The teaching profession may be different from the corporate world. But I am guessing that the power of self confidence and personal determination has the same affect. People respect that energy when they perceive it.
If you want long hair, resolve to grow it. Then, grow it, and do your job as professionally as always, or even better if there has been some lack there. Just do your job so well that hair is not an issue.
Robert
: Looking for help from other professionals. Although hair shouldn't make a difference, I have conformed to expectations of others regarding my hair length. Last December, with help of a great stylist, I decided to gradually start growing out from a conservative, corporate style haircut. I believe I am at a crossroad. With the back of my hair trimmed to one length, it is now approximately 2" past the bottom of my dress shirt collar and is starting to look 'very full' in the back. Sides are trimmed more conservatively. I'm in my early forties and like the look, but am concerned about career, etc. What suggestions can be offered if I continue the growth?
Re: first attempt
Posted by johnboy on September 15, 2001 at 11:17:05: Previous Next
In Reply to: first attempt posted by Stu on September 14, 2001 at 23:48:49:
This seems to be a reoccuring issue on the board, which means either a) more men are looking to become longhairs (may their tribe increase) or b) there seems to be some type of resistance from the business community.
Robert is right. It is all in your attitude. Keep in good standing and outperform (or at least remain equal) to your peers. My boss (former military) balked a little bit when I started going long, but I keep it in a professional ponytail on the job. I am just coming out of the awkward stage, so when it is loose I look like I just came out of an explosion at a matress factory.
A company can legally only come after you on performance issues. Your physical appearance does not normally come under what is called a BFOQ (bona fide occupational qualification). If it does, it is up to the employer to prove its necessity. Still, the best compromise is a neat appearance and undeniable performance.
If you are going to grow your hair long, you may want to cut back or completely remove any facial hair for a while. The combination seems to rile people more than just one or the other. Keep it clean - shampoo and condition regularly. If you are in the awkward stage, you may want to use some form of hair dressing (I have long promoted Paul Mitchell's Foaming Pommade) to keep things in place until you regain control.
Keep it up and continue to use this place as a sounding board and support center.