Frustrated Future Attorney
Posted by fitmus on July 12, 2002 at 15:31:36: Previous Next
I've always liked long hair...perhaps because of a martial artist and musical influence. In any case, I had long hair twice before, but currently have short hair and live in California. When it was long, I worked in an insurance company and wore it neatly in a ponytail. Currently, I just finished my first year of law school. I would love to grow my hair back long again, but I'm afraid of the way people (mostly co-attorneys, judges, employers, etc) will perceive and label me. Are there any other long-haired male attorneys out there, or men that have had issues working in what society would consider a "professional" job where long hair is typically considered bad? If so, what are your stories?
I think it's unfair how employers limit male hair length (which, undoubtably, enables society to continue thinking of long hair on men as bad). It seems like our country has come a long way when it comes to women, minority and gay equality (which I don't have a problem with), but doesn't it seem like male long hair is becoming even more "evil" in society's eyes? I think the way you groom yourself and dress has a strong impact on your confidence and the way you generally feel. You can't change your hair, like you can your clothes, when you come home from work. Shouldn't men have the choice to have their hair long at the workplace? This includes the situation where there may be no written company policy regarding male hair length, but you know you didn't get the job because you had long hair...even though you were told you "didn't have the credentials". You know, kind of like when a pregnant woman doesn't get the job...the company says the same "credential" excuse, but it's really because of all the issues of preganancy...doctor visits, maturnity leave, increased insurance load, etc.
Sorry, had to vent a little bit. A part of me is thinking to grow it out now so I can have it in a pony tail by the time I graduate in 2 more years. I'd be the only one in the entire school with long hair and I don't know of any attornys that have long hair in this area. Should I do it?
Re: Frustrated Future Attorney
Posted by Robert on July 12, 2002 at 20:05:58: Previous Next
In Reply to: Frustrated Future Attorney posted by fitmus on July 12, 2002 at 15:31:36:
You are grappling with a very core issue: you want someone out-there to give you permission to be yourself. Won't happen. Every single time you ask someone outside yourself for permission to be yourself, you just give yourself away again.
Whether you should grow your hair long or not is really only your decision. Other professioals? I am a teacher with a graduate degree that at least equals what yours will be when you get the J.D. I am the only man in the entire school system in which I work with long hair. I interviewed for this job in the middle of the awkward stage. I am learning that it's not what other people think that matters--it's what you think and how you carry yourself with that long or short hair that matters.
My advice? Take all the questions you asked, and serve them back up to yourself. I personally hope you choose to grow your hair long, because you seem to have enjoyed long hair in the past. Fair? Isn't defending one's right to have what one needs to survive and thrive what being an attorney is about? You are in a wonderful place to do some real personal growing. I maintain that for a man in our culture to choose to grow his hair out long because he likes it that way may be one of the most deeply personal transforming things that he could do. Courage,
Robert
: I've always liked long hair...perhaps because of a martial artist and musical influence. In any case, I had long hair twice before, but currently have short hair and live in California. When it was long, I worked in an insurance company and wore it neatly in a ponytail. Currently, I just finished my first year of law school. I would love to grow my hair back long again, but I'm afraid of the way people (mostly co-attorneys, judges, employers, etc) will perceive and label me. Are there any other long-haired male attorneys out there, or men that have had issues working in what society would consider a "professional" job where long hair is typically considered bad? If so, what are your stories?
: I think it's unfair how employers limit male hair length (which, undoubtably, enables society to continue thinking of long hair on men as bad). It seems like our country has come a long way when it comes to women, minority and gay equality (which I don't have a problem with), but doesn't it seem like male long hair is becoming even more "evil" in society's eyes? I think the way you groom yourself and dress has a strong impact on your confidence and the way you generally feel. You can't change your hair, like you can your clothes, when you come home from work. Shouldn't men have the choice to have their hair long at the workplace? This includes the situation where there may be no written company policy regarding male hair length, but you know you didn't get the job because you had long hair...even though you were told you "didn't have the credentials". You know, kind of like when a pregnant woman doesn't get the job...the company says the same "credential" excuse, but it's really because of all the issues of preganancy...doctor visits, maturnity leave, increased insurance load, etc.
: Sorry, had to vent a little bit. A part of me is thinking to grow it out now so I can have it in a pony tail by the time I graduate in 2 more years. I'd be the only one in the entire school with long hair and I don't know of any attornys that have long hair in this area. Should I do it?
Re: Frustrated Future Attorney
Posted by P Bu on July 13, 2002 at 15:24:32: Previous Next
In Reply to: Frustrated Future Attorney posted by fitmus on July 12, 2002 at 15:31:36:
: Are there any other long-haired male attorneys out there, or men that have had issues working in what society would consider a "professional" job where long hair is typically considered bad? If so, what are your stories?
I am a ponytailed male attorney in the midwest (Kansas City, Missouri). In the interest of full disclosure, I guess that I should say that I am a law school graduate who will be sitting for the bar exam in two weeks, but I already work at my post-law school job. I've had long hair throughout law school and have not had a substantial amount of trouble finding jobs. I didn't get every job for which I applied or interviewed, but no one does (as I am sure you know). Currently, I have a judicial clerkship.
When I first started school, I thought that I would be able to work as an attorney and keep my hair as long as I graduated in the top 10% of my class so I made that my goal. I was correct.
BTW, look for a Comment that I wrote on this subject that will be published in the (I believe) Spring issue of the U.M.K.C. Law Review.
P Bu
Re: Frustrated Future Attorney
Posted by doccac on July 13, 2002 at 18:11:25: Previous Next
In Reply to: Frustrated Future Attorney posted by fitmus on July 12, 2002 at 15:31:36:
I am an MD in a very conservative southern town. I also have longish (been growing about 14 months with no cuts) hair. The work environment is one in which all of my colleagues have short haircuts, wear very expensive suits ( I think they sleep in their old ones) and are extremely uptight in a businessman sense. Yet, I decided long ago that I would do what I want and to hell with the "model" and also decided that if it cost me, so be it. Long and short of it is, it hasn't cost me. I am now Chief of Staff and the Physician administrator of the hospital. My practice has also grown to the point that I have 9 docs working for me.
I think the trick to anything (hair, dress, etc) is to have it reflect who you really are inside. Not some kind of statement about anything else but what kind of person you want to be. Thats my secret anyway. For a few years I buzzed my hair with the clippers I use to groom my terriers after I decided that going to the "salon" was BS. I am not sure that another person could march in with long hair and be successful. I am just me and what I do has internal integrity with the person I am. Yesterday, the Director of Nurses walked in to the ER and saw me saying "when are you going to start acting like a doc?" Then started laughing. Thats the key.
Also be ready to have it cost you professionally, if it does. There are more important things, like living your life.
peace
Re: Frustrated Future Attorney
Posted by fitmus on July 17, 2002 at 12:01:48: Previous Next
In Reply to: Frustrated Future Attorney posted by fitmus on July 12, 2002 at 15:31:36:
I just wanted to say "thank you" to those who have written. I actually feel better, and encouraged. Thank you for sharing your stories, advice and support.