Re: doesn't everyone sometime?
Posted by Hair Religion on April 08, 2003 at 23:05:51: Previous Next
In Reply to: sometimes I feel like an outcast posted by LucksKind on April 08, 2003 at 21:08:27:
I'm not sure that it has all that much to do with hair length. I think that most if not all people are "uncertain" about other people. This displays itself in different ways but mostly people tend to seem to ignore or act uninterested as a reaction. Maybe it's a type of natural reaction like those you see in other species where eye contact can be something of an agressive challenge and not gaining the attention of a certain individual might be a safer way to go about life.
I lived in NYC for a time several years ago and New Yorkers are said to be cold and uninterested that you even exist but I found that even though you are on a crowded subway where everyone is trying hard not to look at anyone, once there is a delay and you turn and make a comment about it to the person next to you, they just open right up and smile and start chatting.
Things are not always as they seem.
that makes a lot of sense...
Posted by LucksKind on April 09, 2003 at 07:18:13: Previous NextIn Reply to: Re: doesn't everyone sometime? posted by Hair Religion on April 08, 2003 at 23:05:51:
. . .thanx...
Maybe I AM projecting some 'insecurities' of my own.
Will L(.)(.)k into it!
Re: sometimes I feel like an outcast
Posted by FITMUS on April 09, 2003 at 01:03:58: Previous Next
In Reply to: sometimes I feel like an outcast posted by LucksKind on April 08, 2003 at 21:08:27:
Hi LK,
I think Hair Religion had a good comment. And of course, having long hair puts you, as a man, in a minority where you're going to either grab attention or divert attention. It goes with the territory. But, your post reminds me of something I've been meaning to ask you: can you repost your pic? I missed it the last time you posted, and every time I tried to open it I got an error message.
Re: sometimes I feel like an outcast
Posted by gah2dantz on April 09, 2003 at 10:21:08: Previous Next
In Reply to: sometimes I feel like an outcast posted by LucksKind on April 08, 2003 at 21:08:27:
: Hopefully, in future I will learn HOW to direct this 'force' into
: channe;s of my choosing...but until then,
: I am still LEARNing...
: Anybody have some similar experiences?
Sure. I have this experience all the time. It has been going on for years and years, long before I had long hair. I am a large man, with a beard and dark features. People make snap judgements about my character based upon my features, assuming I am a "bad guy"
I live in a high-rise building. Countless times I have had seen women hug their child or purse tighter to themselves and shrink into the corner when I get on the elevator.
People would rather stand, than sit next to me on the EL.
Now, with the long hair, I have been noticing people even giving me a wide berth on sidewalks.
I treat it like a kind of game. I know that bigotry is not funny, but I kind of laugh to myself when I experience these examples of stupidity.
The link to the picture
Posted by gah2dantz on April 09, 2003 at 10:22:45: Previous NextIn Reply to: Re: sometimes I feel like an outcast posted by gah2dantz on April 09, 2003 at 10:21:08:
Re: sometimes I feel like an outcast
Posted by Resonance on April 09, 2003 at 11:37:32: Previous NextIn Reply to: Re: sometimes I feel like an outcast posted by gah2dantz on April 09, 2003 at 10:21:08:
Sure. I have this experience all the time. It has been going on for years and years, long before I had long hair. I am a large man, with a beard and dark features. People make snap judgements about my character based upon my features, assuming I am a "bad guy"
You have a fantastic image - I do believe I'd go right up to you and shake your hand if I ever saw you ;)
Re: sometimes I feel like an outcast
Posted by Justin on April 10, 2003 at 22:36:37: Previous NextIn Reply to: Re: sometimes I feel like an outcast posted by Resonance on April 09, 2003 at 11:37:32:
:
Sure. I have this experience all the time. It has been going on for years and years, long before I had long hair. I am a large man, with a beard and dark features. People make snap judgements about my character based upon my features, assuming I am a "bad guy"
: You have a fantastic image - I do believe I'd go right up to you and shake your hand if I ever saw you ;)
I, like most people, would not go up to you and shake your hand. Not because I am rude but b/c of the way you describe yourself. I'm not posting this to anger anyone, i'm simply stating the truth, this board is NOT a good representation of the real world. In the real world a huge guy with long hair, a big beard and dark features is certainly not someone most people will try to make friends with. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's a fact (hey the guy himself said people make judgements about his character! there's the proof) Of course people will make judgements by the way you look, what else do you want them to do? Stop and ask your life story??? A person has no choice but to judge you by the way you present yourself. Say I'm alone at night and have to ask someone what time it is, there's a neatly dressed and groomed man and another guy that looks like Bin Laden.... i'm going to ask the first guy! I have nothing against the second guy but by the way he presents himself I am a bit afraid to go near him. Why does the world have to be this way? WHO CARES! That's the way it is, accept it or not, the world is not going to change for you. I myself am a longhaired male and have been reading this board for a while, I must say the level of ignorance on this board is rather high. The fact that some of you can't grasp such a simple concept of why you are looked at different by society is amazing. I know I will get a bunch of ignorant replies about how hair is "an extension of the body" and such nonsence that only someone completely wasted would say so I won't even take the time to read any replies to this. Seriously, just reading this board and seeing the extreme level of obsession makes me want to cut my hair.
We are outcasts
Posted by Gnb on April 10, 2003 at 12:33:21: Previous Next
In Reply to: sometimes I feel like an outcast posted by LucksKind on April 08, 2003 at 21:08:27:
In some ways, we are outcasts. Outcasts to the convention of men having to wear short hair.
Re: sometimes I feel like an outcast
Posted by Justin on April 10, 2003 at 22:36:32: Previous Next
In Reply to: sometimes I feel like an outcast posted by LucksKind on April 08, 2003 at 21:08:27:
: O, I know that one shouldn't feel that way, but sometimes people
: (men & women) will turn away or avoid any eye-contact.
: I'm sure it isn't really ME they looking away from, but why
: are people so intimidated by the length of hair?
: What's the big deal? But they can't seem to get past it.
: My hair is always neat, clean & healthy-looking. Maybe people have
: FANTASIES about who I am. . .or what I am thinking ...or trying to 'prove.'
: HAIR = a sort of POWER...a potent symbol of sorts...
: Exactly WHAT it symbolizes is a mystery to me, but I feel it is real.
: Hopefully, in future I will learn HOW to direct this 'force' into
: channe;s of my choosing...but until then,
: I am still LEARNing...
: Anybody have some similar experiences?
I've never posted here but I have long hair. Anyway, isn't it obvious why people are afraid of you? You look different, humans are naturally afraid of the unknown. To make things worse you've got MOST longhaired guys walking around with big beards and scruffy looking band t-shirts... even I stay away from people who look like that. Why? Because a guy dressed like that looks like a he has no class, if he has no class he may not have a good education, no education means he might not have any morals and if he doesn't have any morals he probably wouldn't mind attacking or robbing me, I prefer to play it safe. You teach the world how to treat you, if you dress like a typical criminal, what do you expect? If you don't dress like a slob, the hair still sets you apart so that's that.