my dilemna
Posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16: Previous Next
My identical twin and I are in our mid-thirties and both work in the family business. We both have MPB and a couple of months ago my brother showed up to work unexpectedly with his head shaved. Everyone was surprised. I could not help but feel annoyed that he did this because it meant that we were no longer identical. There was no way I was giving up my ponytail despite pressure from my brother to have my own head shaved. Everybody seems to like his shaved head, and lately even our mother is pressuring me to give it a try. She said that it is time to grow up and get rid of the ponytail.
Because we are twins, a lot of people get us confused. Word got around that I was the twin with the shaved head, which was really embarrassing for me. Even worse, my brother seems to be getting more attention from the female customers lately than I am. One woman mistook me for his older brother rather than his twin. When the error was pointed out to her, she just said, "Oh. You should shave your head like your brother."
The attention that my brother has gotten from the ladies has gotten me started to CONSIDERING having a headshave. However, I'm reluctant to do it because I feel like I've been cajoled into it by others. Besides, I would miss having a ponytail. My brother has pointed out to me that I have a huge advantage over most men in this situation: I already know exactly what I will look like with a shaved head and I know that the reaction to it will be very positive. He's made some good points, I know, but this is something that I never would have done on my own. I feel like I'm being brainwashed, but I feel myself starting to give in to the mounting pressure. I don't know what to do. Should I keep my ponytail or go with the flow and follow the almost unanimous advice to have my head shaved?
Re: my dilemna
Posted by Nyghtfall on July 01, 2003 at 11:56:44: Previous Next
In Reply to: my dilemna posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16:
: Should I keep my ponytail or go with the flow and follow the almost unanimous advice to have my head shaved?
Man... I'm so used to not giving a damn about the mainstream that I've forgotten what it's like to give in to peer pressure.
If you really want some advice, keep the tail. You'll only regret cutting it, especially if it's not something you really want to do.
Re: my dilemna
Posted by Jude on July 01, 2003 at 15:22:28: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: my dilemna posted by Nyghtfall on July 01, 2003 at 11:56:44:
I have 4 words for you. "The Two Week Rule". Don't do a damn thing for 2 weeks. Let your bro's new look get "old" and look at the situation again. Don;t touch a hair until your 100 percent sure YOU want it off. Don't buckle, family doesn't always know best. Goodluck, I hope you post shortly and let us know whats up. We won't judge you.......(too harshly >:) )
Re: my dilemna
Posted by ColdFlu on July 01, 2003 at 12:43:57: Previous Next
In Reply to: my dilemna posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16:
Maybe he is getting positive feedback because it is "different". He has never had a bald head before and people just like supporting others who do extreme things. I have had just about everything done with my head (including a shiny, shaved head) and trust me, the feedback your brother is getting now will soon taper off in a month or two. By then, everyone will be use to it. Some ladies also just like bald heads period.
It is your decision however, think hard about it. This is your chance to not be an identical twin.
I myself am a fraternal twin and I enjoy looking and being different from my brother as much as possible. Individualality is a nice thing!
Re: my dilemna
Posted by Nyghtfall on July 01, 2003 at 14:29:18: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: my dilemna posted by ColdFlu on July 01, 2003 at 12:43:57:
: Some ladies also just like bald heads period.
I once saw a poster in a barber shop, several years ago. The bottom half was a picture of the top half of a bald head. Above it was a caption that read, "God only made so many perfect heads. On the rest, he put hair."
Re: how deep
Posted by Hair Religion on July 02, 2003 at 12:10:09: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: my dilemna posted by Nyghtfall on July 01, 2003 at 14:29:18:
>>"God only made so many perfect heads. On the rest, he put hair."
I guess they are saying that "god" makes far more mistakes than humans ever could or is incapable of reproducing perfect creation and settles for making most people with an inherrent defect that in it's imperfection actually provides more benefits than "god's" perfection allows.
WHY do you need our input?
Posted by LucksKind on July 01, 2003 at 12:44:04: Previous Next
In Reply to: my dilemna posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16:
All I will say is the being a Longhair is something that
comes from somewhere deep within you.
If you are having lots of DOUBTS and having to ask others what THEY think...
and bowing to pressure of other people's opinions,
WHAT does THAT say about your wanting long hair?
If you are really on shaky ground about whether you want to keep your tail...
or SHAVE(!) you head. . .I mean, isn't THAT about as dramatic as you can go?
Your brother SURPRISED YOU by shaving his head and now YOU feel
badly because you do not look alike and so are willing
to conform to his SURPRISE??? WHAT is wrong with this picture???
Can anybody else figure this out???
Anyway . . .and as always...
Good luck!
Re: WHY do you need our input?
Posted by Justin on July 01, 2003 at 13:53:29: Previous Next
In Reply to: WHY do you need our input? posted by LucksKind on July 01, 2003 at 12:44:04:
: All I will say is the being a Longhair is something that
: comes from somewhere deep within you.
: If you are having lots of DOUBTS and having to ask others what THEY think...
: and bowing to pressure of other people's opinions,
: WHAT does THAT say about your wanting long hair?
Couldn't have been said better. Thanks LucksKind!
Re: WHY do you need our input?
Posted by elektros on July 01, 2003 at 23:22:00: Previous Next
In Reply to: WHY do you need our input? posted by LucksKind on July 01, 2003 at 12:44:04:
: Can anybody else figure this out??? : Anyway . . .and as always... I don't think he is looking for our input, just our support. Right? "This above all else, to thine own self be true" - can't remember who said that, but I agree with it. Re: WHY do you need our input? In Reply to: Re: WHY do you need our input? posted by elektros on July 01, 2003 at 23:22:00: : "This above all else, to thine own self be true" - can't remember who said that, but I agree with it. one word - shakespeare
: Good luck!
Posted by Steve-o on July 02, 2003 at 01:21:58: Previous Next
to thine own self be true
Posted by Big L on July 02, 2003 at 03:16:33: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: WHY do you need our input? posted by elektros on July 01, 2003 at 23:22:00:
: to thine own self be true" - can't remember who said that, but I agree with it.
I agree with it so much that I have it tattooed across the top of my chest !
Re: my dilemna
Posted by Sherri on July 01, 2003 at 12:56:25: Previous Next
In Reply to: my dilemna posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16:
Your mother said that it is time to grow up and get rid of the ponytail.
One woman mistook you for his older brother rather than his twin.
Grow up and look younger?
Do what YOU want to do. You should have your own mind and do what makes you happy.
Re: Lower your shields!
Posted by Hair Religion on July 01, 2003 at 13:36:31: Previous Next
In Reply to: my dilemna posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16:
Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated. You will join the collective and become like all the other borg. The borg have no use for individuality.
Re: my dilemna
Posted by KuTava on July 01, 2003 at 14:51:39: Previous Next
In Reply to: my dilemna posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16:
There are some exercises for deciding what you want to do. Here's one: today is the day you have to decide. RIGHT NOW. Take a coin out and flip it. Heads you get to have a pony tail like Jefferson; tails your head looks like the dome of the capital building. Do it.
Now look at the coin. Are you relieved, or disappointed?
--
I think the women around me would rather I have short hair ... but I would be so excited to find one who loves my hair long that I still don't want to cut it.
Re: my dilemna
Posted by delta9dude on July 01, 2003 at 18:54:51: Previous Next
In Reply to: my dilemna posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16:
Don't listen to your brother, don't listen to your mother, don't listen to your customers or anyone else. DON'T EVEN LISTEN TO ME! Listen to yourself and no one else.
dilemna
Posted by LucksKind on July 01, 2003 at 20:12:54: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: my dilemna posted by delta9dude on July 01, 2003 at 18:54:51:
: "Don't listen to your brother, don't listen to your mother, don't listen to your customers or anyone else. DON'T EVEN LISTEN TO ME! Listen to yourself and no one else." ~delta9dude
AMEN!!!
Re: my dilemna
Posted by mudtallica on July 01, 2003 at 22:14:05: Previous Next
In Reply to: my dilemna posted by Roger on July 01, 2003 at 11:24:16:
I had a boss one time that was totally bald by choice, just like your brother. My long hair was always a 'bone of contention' with him. I told him that he was just jealous because he didn't have any hair, and he said "Grass doesn't grow on a busy street y'know!" My reply?: "Nope, it don't. Don't grow on granite either." He laid off with the long hair comments after that.