So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34: Previous Next
I've just got back from a week in Rye, a sleepy semi-touristy town in the South Eastern corner of England, and have just this minute caught up with everything that's been going on over here. Good to be back with all this discussion!
Yesterday afternoon, at 4pm in broad daylight while I was walking back to the caravan I was staying in, I happened to spot a group of six 17-18 year old guys - they all must've been a year or two younger than I.
You know when you get the feeling that you should be wary? I usually tie my hair back in anticipation of something happening, but it was raining and I had my gloves on so I didn't bother reaching into my pocket for my hair-band.
As I passed by, I heard a predictable, over-loud "I thought that was a girl!" comment. I wasn't in the best of moods that afternoon so I shot them a stare over my shoulder. The jeering continued with even more pathetic "Poofter... Ponce..." remarks. I flipped them off over my shoulder without looking back, as is my manner, and continued on my way - they were about 30 feet away from me by this time.
Within a couple of seconds I heard some lone running footsteps coming towards me, I turned around just in time get my guard up and drop what I was carrying, but couldn't stop the guy (who was the same height, with a slightly stockier build) wrenching a fistful of my hair out. He also managed to head butt me just below the left eyebrow before I could headlock him and force us both to the ground.
By this time the other five lads had run over I realised I was scrambling on the ground surrounded by lots of feet. I covered my face, expecting to get the living **** kicked out of me... luckily, they pulled their friend away and all but apologised to me on his behalf.
I shook myself off, gathered my things, then noticed that the hair in front of my face was red with blood, as was the whole left side of my face from the badly-placed head butt. A man and woman in their late thirties, who were very kind hearted, drove me to the police station and then the local Doctor's Surgery where I was patched up with sterile strips. I needed a couple of stitches in all honesty, but the nearest hospital was ten miles away and it would've been tough for me to get there with my limited funds.
It wasn't until this morning that I saw the clump of loose hair stuck in my pony-tail, an area on the back left of my head feels bruised where it was ripped out. Thankfully, I can't notice any difference and there's no bald spot visible since it's covered by the upper layers of my hair. Cuts and bruises I'm used to, being quite an active skater, but anyone who abuses the hair - well...
It sends me to indescribable levels of frustration me at how years of patient growth can be taken away in a matter of moments. What have I learned from this? Loose hair is indeed a hindrance in a close-up fight, pay attention to gut feelings and carry some sort of hair restraining thing around at all times.
Thanks for reading this far, anyone have similar stories to tell?
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Mark Ellott on March 08, 2003 at 08:11:14: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
Thankfully, no - only verbals. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Unfortunately there are those who will indulge in this behaviour whatever the reason (no reasonable one...). Long hair this time, the clothes you wear, the next, race, religion, do they need a reason?
Hope you get better soon.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by hBK on March 08, 2003 at 11:10:36: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Mark Ellott on March 08, 2003 at 08:11:14:
Feel sorry for u man. If you would have been carrying your 9mm your hair would still be the way it was when you left home. Only difference is you would have had 3 dead waste of lives but oh well.Idiots like that deserve it.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Nathan on March 08, 2003 at 09:21:21: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
Wow, that's really awful :(
The sad thing is, that it's common sense to think twice before walking past a gang of lads. Anyone that has even a small thing that people can hold a prejudice against, is always at risk of being targeted by idiots who use their friends to make up for their own cowardliness. I suppose you can only be thankful that the other lads weren't as stupid as their friend.
Unfortunately, there's no real way to protect yourself in that situation... You could cross over the road and walk by on the other side, but if they see you doing that, you're even more likely to get some kind of threat. Maybe even tying your hair back in view of them, would have been enough to get some kind of special abuse. This is the western, civilised society that we live in? Where someone who looks even slightly different, cannot feel safe walking down the street!?
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Will on March 08, 2003 at 10:31:23: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
The other day in school I walked down a coridoor at dinner time and it was full of idiot boys. I had lots of comments and flicking of my hair, thats nothing new though. Also the same day I had people throwing food at my hair and asking stupid questions.. stupid people!
Questions like 'why dont you cut your hair' came up, I replied with 'I dont want to look the same all my life, I want to try different things' and I got really annoyed and then started asking do they think their hair looks good, of course they said not really and I agreed strongly.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Justin on March 08, 2003 at 11:13:15: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
: Thanks for reading this far, anyone have similar stories to tell?
I am absolutely shocked!
Although I have never been attacked except by words, I want to express to you my complete frustration that I was not present when this nightmare took place. Though not a violent person, in your case I would have beat the !$#^@%#$^&%(*%@^$@!!! out of those "Punks!" Have to leave for the day.............but will catch up to you later about this and the trip.
I am so sorry you had to go through this.
what a GOD-AWFUL Story!!!
Posted by LucksKind on March 08, 2003 at 13:28:33: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
Was the attacker DRUNK or on drugs or just HATE-filled???
No person has the right to injure someone over their hair or
for any other reasons.
That guy must be BAD BLOOD that bast*rd.
Try not to worry about your hair since it probably will not show.
If those guys had ALL turned on you, well, God knows what
state you'd be in today!
Heal quickly and
Good Luck
Re: what a GOD-AWFUL Story!!!
Posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 16:27:00: Previous Next
In Reply to: what a GOD-AWFUL Story!!! posted by LucksKind on March 08, 2003 at 13:28:33:
Was the attacker DRUNK or on drugs or just HATE-filled???
It wasn't that late in the afternoon, none of them seemed to be under the influence of anything.
Try not to worry about your hair since it probably will not show.
Since washing my hair I've been told that there's no visible difference. I suppose it's at times like this when you realise how many hairs you have!
Heal quickly and Good Luck
I'll do my best ;) Many Thanks.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Joe Cool on March 08, 2003 at 16:02:16: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
I suggest you press charges against those scum-bags. They should be thrown in prison!
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Victor on March 09, 2003 at 12:19:53: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Joe Cool on March 08, 2003 at 16:02:16:
: I suggest you press charges against those scum-bags. They should be thrown in prison!
Read the post again. By the sound of it, only one deserves to spend some time.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Olly on March 08, 2003 at 16:02:18: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
I don't think this sad disgusting incident had anything to do with your hair, This guy would have probably taken a dislike to the type of shoes you where wearing, I've had the same kind of verbal attack many times myself, but not for having long hair (only into my 4th month of growing it out) No it's for the fact that i keep myself healthly, i have been training at the gym for the past 4 years and have gained quite a lot of muscle growth, don't get me wrong i'm no Arnold S but it's obvious i do alot of training.
The usual comment i get is Ohh yea he's on steroids thats not normal or he must be a real vain bastard, usualy swispers lol ..
it just sickens me that if your slightly out of what people think is the NORM then u are likely to come across abuse from idiots like the one you met.
Now that i'm growing my hair long i fully expect to hear that he MUST be gay... especially if he goes to the gym that much :¬)
Just hope u recover quick and don't let one worthless idiot change the way you are.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 16:37:22: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Olly on March 08, 2003 at 16:02:18:
I don't think this sad disgusting incident had anything to do with your hair, This guy would have probably taken a dislike to the type of shoes you where wearing...
That's a good point, it just so happened that my hair was what made me stick out like a sore thumb in the particular town I was in. I'd walked around for five days before the incident and noticed that almost all the people in my age range adhered to the latest fashions.
Just hope u recover quick and don't let one worthless idiot change the way you are.
Many thanks for your post - the experience only strengthens my resolve, without a doubt.
Me too, need advice
Posted by zero on March 08, 2003 at 19:37:23: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
I've been verbally and physically attacked too. I'm 5'6" 150lbs dark brown hair to middle of back. I'm medium build. I live in Southern California and it's just awful here. I'm a minority here. I'm not White, Black, or Latino. Please don't make any assumptions here too. So what should I do when I walk around alone. Should I carry pepper spray?
Re: Me too, need advice
Posted by oDD_LotS on March 09, 2003 at 20:57:29: Previous Next
In Reply to: Me too, need advice posted by zero on March 08, 2003 at 19:37:23:
If the situation warrants it, pepper spray can be a good thing. However, some people I know use it as a "deterent" or a threat, flashing the can to anyone that looks at them funny. It should be kept secret, and only used when the situation truly requires it.
I have no size problems (5'11" 285 pounds with a beard a tattoos) but in high school, I had problems with a few guys that eventually escalated to three of them chasing me (both in cars, obeying the 15 mph speedlimit) and following me to school, threatening to do some pretty bad stuff to me. I was able to avoid physical contact, since the principal saw them come at me, and took care of it, but they gained a lot of support. Soon I had quite a few guys saying things, threatening me, pulling my ponytail, etc. and I wasn't comfortable in my neighborhood alone (a very safe, well-lit community) for several weeks afterward. It was only after my dad got me a can of Mace that I felt safe again. Although I never had to use it, it was comforting knowing that I could defend myself if needed.
Re: Me too, need advice
Posted by JimEd on March 13, 2003 at 00:24:55: Previous Next
In Reply to: Me too, need advice posted by zero on March 08, 2003 at 19:37:23:
:
: I've been verbally and physically attacked too. I'm 5'6" 150lbs dark brown hair to middle of back. I'm medium build. I live in Southern California and it's just awful here.
Really? I always heard So. Cal. was so laid back. But then, I've never been there, so my Mississippi Delta @$$ wouldn't know.
I'm a minority here. I'm not White, Black, or Latino. Please don't make any assumptions here too.
I ordinarily don't make assumptions, and I won't inquire about your ethnic background, but are you absolutely sure it's just your hair that's making you attack-prone?
So what should I do when I walk around alone. Should I carry pepper spray?
There are many things you can do to protect yourself. Check out your local Y.M.C.A., community center, or martial arts school for self-defense courses. You'll get in shape, develop self-esteem, and, most importantly, you'll be able to protect yourself.
Try not to walk around by yourself if you can at all help it. There is safety in numbers. But if you must, use regular street smart techniques: you know, walk facing traffic, carry a minimum amount of money, and ALWAYS be aware of your general surroundings. If you must walk at night, stay on well-lit, well-traveled streets.
Pepper spray may be a good thing to have, but there are other weapons you can use: lighters, pens, lemon juice, belt buckle. You'd be amazed at the distraction a fist full of change or dirt in the face can create. But always try to get away instead of attacking, and attack only when there is no alternative. Never allow yourself to be cornered or led into an alley or some other out-of-sight location.
If you feel threatened, yell "Fire!" really loud over and over. It gets more attention than yelling "Help!". Acting crazy works, too. It may be embarrassing to do these things, but a moment of embarrassment is easier to deal with than an assault or worse...
As for verbal assaults, just ignore them. Nothing takes the wind out of one's sails faster than not getting a reaction to an inflammatory remark.
Lastly, what's keeping you in So. Cal.? Family, friends, work, school?
If you have nothing important keeping you there, than you would do better to find a place to live where being a longhair isn't such a big deal.
Phew! I'm tired. Hope this helps. Take care, hang in there, and keep growin' that hair!
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Joe on March 08, 2003 at 19:55:46: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
It's ironic, but the only time I've gotten trouble for my hair was from another guy with long hair! we were arguing, and he said "you make me ashamed to have long hair". ouch!
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by LucksKind on March 08, 2003 at 21:00:10: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Joe on March 08, 2003 at 19:55:46:
: "It's ironic, but the only time I've gotten trouble for my hair was from another guy with long hair! we were arguing, and he said "you make me ashamed to have long hair". ouch!" ~Joe
So WHAT did you do or say to make him
make THAT comment???
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by JimEd on March 09, 2003 at 03:31:39: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
I'm normally very laid back, but I'm going to be a nag this time...
You weren't necessarily attacked over your hair, you were attacked because you chose to respond to that loser's comments (flipping him off), which served to only infuriate him. And yes, you're lucky his friends broke up the fight instead of joining in. Six against one does not make for very good odds.
Granted, you were in a bad mood and flipped somebody off; we've all done that. A good rule of thumb to remember, however, is to never flip off anyone you can't outrun. That's why I limit my birds to only when I'm driving. :)
Take care. Hope your hair grows back soon.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by stinKfoot on March 09, 2003 at 23:04:49: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
i'm sorry you had that experience. bummer some people need to be such jerks.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Sorry to hear that on March 11, 2003 at 16:29:29: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
It seems to me that anyone with any decency in them are always the first to have something like this happen to them.
I have read you posts and I am glad to hear that you have not lost too much hair but I bet you felt like killing those guys afterwards.
Touchwood, I haven't had anything like that happen to me over the length of my hair but when I was younger I was bullied frequently for being shorter than other people. This is why I now hardly ever go anywhere and always check who is behind me when I am out in the street. My hearing also acts as a rear view mirror.
Keep us posted on your recovery, and by the way I saw one of your pictures at International Longhairs.com a few weeks ago and thought you looked pretty cool.
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Resonance on March 12, 2003 at 04:30:54: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Sorry to hear that on March 11, 2003 at 16:29:29:
Keep us posted on your recovery, and by the way I saw one of your pictures at International Longhairs.com a few weeks ago and thought you looked pretty cool.
Thanks for your post! The gash is healing nicely now and I now know that the hairloss isn't as severe as I thought it was. As I sidenote, I wasn't even aware that I was on International Longhairs.com, but it's no problem!
Re: So I was attacked over my hair...
Posted by Reinhart on March 18, 2003 at 03:09:53: Previous Next
In Reply to: So I was attacked over my hair... posted by Resonance on March 08, 2003 at 07:26:34:
: Within a couple of seconds I heard some lone running footsteps coming towards me, I turned around just in time get my guard up and drop what I was carrying, but couldn't stop the guy (who was the same height, with a slightly stockier build) wrenching a fistful of my hair out. He also managed to head butt me just below the left eyebrow before I could headlock him and force us both to the ground.
: By this time the other five lads had run over I realised I was scrambling on the ground surrounded by lots of feet. I covered my face, expecting to get the living **** kicked out of me... luckily, they pulled their friend away and all but apologised to me on his behalf.
: It sends me to indescribable levels of frustration me at how years of patient growth can be taken away in a matter of moments. What have I learned from this? Loose hair is indeed a hindrance in a close-up fight, pay attention to gut feelings and carry some sort of hair restraining thing around at all times.
: Thanks for reading this far, anyone have similar stories to tell?
This story helps to make me feel happy about living in America. I can get a Concealed Weapons license, which may allow me to carry a concealed firearm to limited locations (concealed weapons are not allowed in school grounds, police and government installations, places where alcoholic beverages are served, hospitals, airports, train stations, bus stations, and private property which specifically states that no weapons are allowed on premises), and pretty much warn whoever may try to attack me that I will turn that person into swiss cheese.
There is a catch: the use of deadly force is legally justified ONLY if there is absolutely no other recourse of escaping a dangerous situation with your life. If you can successfully flee from the situation as opposed to making bullets fly, then RUN AWAY! - Reinhart