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Annoyed...
Posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:12:00: Previous Next
For the first time in a while I'm really fed-up with hair... its starting to really annoy me.
Its unruly...limb.. wild... irritating... (Welcome to the awkward stage huh?)
The only plus side is its the longest its ever been...
A month ago it was excellent, a real dream, and now 4 weeks later its a pain in the ass... Don't get me wrong I'm not wavering, I'm not about to cut it short, but I am going to get a trim, just to tidy things up. (I'm due by my 3 month rule anyways.) Only problem is I have to wait 3 weeks cos the girl who cuts my hair is on holiday.
I guess I'm miffed cos next week will be 12 months since I started growing, and I was kinda hoping that I would be happy with my hair at this milestone.
Sorry Just sounding off...
Incidentally just to compare:
Xmas Day 2003 (A photo taken with my mom - I couldn't be happier with my hair):
Suggestions on what I can do to improve the situation?
Re: Oops
Posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:13:58: Previous Next
In Reply to: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:12:00:
Oops messed up my HTML:
To compare:
Xmas Day 2003 (A photo taken with my mom - I couldn't be happier with my hair):
Whereas Today (Bad hair day #5 in a row): 
Suggestions on what I can do to improve the situation?
Yup, awkward stage.
Posted by Gollan on January 21, 2004 at 12:49:24: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Oops posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:13:58:
Yes you are in the awkward stage. My advice is stick with it. As your hair gets longer it will *eventually* get easier to manage. My early progress pictures show that I've been exactly where you are now. The only solution is to hang in there and stay away from hairstylists, barbers, and anyone else with hair cutting implements! During my awkward stage my mother hounded my to get my hair "neatened up" by her hairstylist... sure he would have "neatened it up"... by making it *shorter*. I used a lot of L'Oreal Melting Gel and some "long hair balm". I also wore bandanas to keep it out of my eyes. There is a reason so many guys give up on growing their hair long. The awkward stage can be tough. If you're tougher, you will have great long hair.
Re: Yup, awkward stage.
Posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:59:47: Previous Next
In Reply to: Yup, awkward stage. posted by Gollan on January 21, 2004 at 12:49:24:
Thanks for the advice Gollan.
Oh and congrats on an excellent personal site... your layout is clean and tidy, your documentation and comments are really insightful, and like me I see you have an interest in designing to W3C Standards. Result!
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by Redleader on January 21, 2004 at 12:24:20: Previous Next
In Reply to: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:12:00:
Sorted,
While I know my advice is contradictory to your beliefs, I think that you should seriously consider it.
1) You have hair that is pretty straight (i.e. will visibly grow faster)
2) You are in the middle of the awquard stage (as was I after a year)
3) You are annoyed with the awquard stage
4) All guys go through the awquard stage and it drives them crazy
5) You trim your hair often
6) Even with all of these trims, you still don't think you have perfect hair
7) Frequent trims will increase the amount of time it will take you to achieve any given length and to get out of the awquard stage
So if you want longer hair and don't like the way it looks now (with plenty of trims), don't get any more trims. Trims are not a way out of the awquardness. It's not the actual cutting of the hairs that makes your hair behave better; it's the styling they do to it afterwards. Maybe even better advice would be to ask your hairdresser not for a trim but for a date next time.
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:45:50: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Annoyed... posted by Redleader on January 21, 2004 at 12:24:20:
: So if you want longer hair and don't like the way it looks now (with plenty of trims), don't get any more trims. Trims are not a way out of the awquardness. It's not the actual cutting of the hairs that makes your hair behave better; it's the styling they do to it afterwards. Maybe even better advice would be to ask your hairdresser not for a trim but for a date next time.
Hey I'll consider anything, (short of a buzzcut).
But I do believe trims help... the shape of your head is round, so a cut that worked whilst you had hair above your ears will fall differently when your is past your ears and so it won't look as good. I still think, the no trims policy only really works when the length of your hair is clear of your head.
That said I gotta wait atleast 3 weeks until I can get it cut so I've no choice stick it out and see how I feel anyway... I might just take your advice and ask her out anyway... ;-)
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by Redleader on January 21, 2004 at 21:15:44: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:45:50:
But I do believe trims help... the shape of your head is round, so a cut that worked whilst you had hair above your ears will fall differently when your is past your ears and so it won't look as good. I still think, the no trims policy only really works when the length of your hair is clear of your head.
I think that your attraction to having your hair cut has shaped your belief that trims are highly effective. Your Subconscious uses trims as an excuse to fulfill your craving. I am no expert at this kind of thing, but its similar to a recovering alcoholic using i'll give off a better image to my co-workers if I have a few coctails at this party as a means to appease aftershocks of a serious problem.
I might just take your advice and ask her out anyway... ;-)
Best of luck with that...hopefully you'll get a positive response!
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by Sorted on January 22, 2004 at 11:17:59: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Annoyed... posted by Redleader on January 21, 2004 at 21:15:44:
: I think that your attraction to having your hair cut has shaped your belief that trims are highly effective. Your Subconscious uses trims as an excuse to fulfill your craving. I am no expert at this kind of thing, but its similar to a recovering alcoholic using i'll give off a better image to my co-workers if I have a few coctails at this party as a means to appease aftershocks of a serious problem.
Not at all - I trim every 3 months - its hardly habitual, (its what most hair stylists recommend.) Plus the evidence speaks for itself. After a trim I feel better about my hair... I normally for about 2 months, and by the 3rd month I'm not so happy with it... This has been the way for the past year...
The think that is p***ing me off most at the mo is the fact that my Bangs fall almost an inch longer than the rest of the hair on the top of my head. That and the annoying curl that plagues the back.
Besides I'm more interested in my hair looking good than it growing long quickly... if a loose an inch or so each year during the process, so what - at least it might increase my chances of getting that date!
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by ColdFlu on January 23, 2004 at 12:36:41: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 22, 2004 at 11:17:59:
Sorted,
First things first, I'm not against trims. I myself have had "a" trim in the 17 months I have been growing my hair. 1 trim to even my hair out.
Now I am not sure how much length this stylist is trimming off your head, but it must be enough to tame your wings, then a couple of months (1/2 inch) later, your wings are back and your hating your hair.
My wife is a professional stylist and we have had our conversations on this very same topic. Stylists recommend you trim your hair every 3 months, but their goals are different from your own. Someone who wishes to grow their hair out long do not need length trimmed off every 3 months. All your doing is slowing down your growth and remaining in this awkard stage for a long period of time. To much time and you begin to post these types of threads.
How unhealthy can your hair get in 3 months time? Let's just say your hair grew 3/4 inch in 3 months. Your stylist lets say, cuts off 1/2 an inch. Now your hair only grew a 1/4 inch in those three months. Your flips were there before the cut, now theur gone after the cut. The flips will only grow back in again and the cycle repeats itself.
Your stylist will cut as much as needed to make your hair look great again. Their goal is for you to leave with nice looking hair. You will only be stuck in this awful awkard stage longer than you need to be if you continue this cycle. Let your hair grow man! You can trim it up as much as you want once you get past this awkard stage and near a length that pleases you.
If you were growing your hair from a buzzcut of let's say 1 inch, would you be trimming your hair after 3 months when your hair would be at 1 3/4 inch long?? Probably not! I mean there is nothing wrong with cleaning up your neck hairs or that awful straggly short hair around your ears that grows, but leave your main growing hair alone for a while and in no time, your flips will no longer be, because your hair is long enough and heavy enough to stay straight.
My 2 cents.
i trim my own hair
Posted by john on January 23, 2004 at 18:54:06: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Annoyed... posted by ColdFlu on January 23, 2004 at 12:36:41:
just every once in a while
Re: i trim my own hair
Posted by elektros on January 24, 2004 at 22:32:37: Previous Next
In Reply to: i trim my own hair posted by john on January 23, 2004 at 18:54:06:
: just every once in a while
I trim little bits off mine to keep split ends at bay. Then once in a blue moon (anything from 9 months to a couple of years) I go in and tell them to take no more than an inch off at the longest point and to curve it around at the back.
If you have wavy hair and it is not at least 12 inches long it will curl in unwanted directions. Blow drying can keep this under control, but it doesn't last very long and it tends to damage your hair. Trimming may even make it worse, i.e. just when you have the curls trained the right way you have it cut and it's back to square one.
The only real answer is to grow it out and have a blunt cut. Then the weight holds it down. Mine is naturally wavy and 21 inches, and it doesn't curl up much. And you know what, it is long enough that if it does curl a little at the ends it looks OK, because the ends are nowhere near my collar, ears, etc. It's awful when it curls up and sticks in your ear, or when it curls up right at your collar. I rarely blow dry my hair now, to avoid damage, but it still looks nice blow dried if I have a (very) special occasion to go to.
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by Sorted on January 26, 2004 at 08:36:37: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Annoyed... posted by ColdFlu on January 23, 2004 at 12:36:41:
ColdFlu
In the early stages of growing your hair out your not so much presented with a problem of Damage, more a problem of the shape of your head. You cut the hair differently to contend with it growing down around your head. Look at the geometry of your scalp. (EG: My Bangs were left a lot longer whilst my hair was shorter to allow me to centre part. Now this extra length causes the "wings".)
Now some people suffer the wild looking hair until it reaches a good length before evening it out. I personally don't. I'd rather have my hair trimmed and shaped every three months.
I might trim every 3 months and I've not had anything taken off the length in 9 months... only the back and sides... So I think I'm actually making the awkward stage more tolerable by trimming, and I'm certainly not prolonging it.
The evidence speaks for itself - For the 2 months following a trim, I have really excellent, manageable hair, the 3rd month starts to get a little more annoying so at the end of it I get a trim.
I expect that now the length has almost cleared my ears I won't need to have it shaped quite so often.
-Sorted-
I would try
Posted by Sherri on January 23, 2004 at 14:47:57: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 22, 2004 at 11:17:59:
a large round brush and a blow dryer that offers heat settings...one of which is cool. Not just a little button to press and hold in (it'll cramp your hand after a bit), but an actual setting.
Use the round brush like a curler, aiming the cool air at the hair that is curled around the brush. It's hard to explain how to do this.
It doesn't actually curl your hair, as you would think, but straightens it instead. Let me find some pics of my hair without it being blow dried so I can show you how wavy/curly my hair is without blow drying it....
OK, I don't know where that's gonna put the pic, and it isn't the best pic, but you can see (somewhat) how much curl my hair has. Now, the pics of me on the pic page is after using a blow dryer and large round brush. I buy the largest, I think they're 2" diameter, round brushes I can find.
This may clear up your "wing" problem.
Re: I would try
Posted by elektros on January 24, 2004 at 22:15:51: Previous Next
In Reply to: I would try posted by Sherri on January 23, 2004 at 14:47:57:
: a large round brush and a blow dryer that offers heat settings...one of which is cool. Not just a little button to press and hold in (it'll cramp your hand after a bit), but an actual setting.
: Use the round brush like a curler, aiming the cool air at the hair that is curled around the brush. It's hard to explain how to do this.
: It doesn't actually curl your hair, as you would think, but straightens it instead. Let me find some pics of my hair without it being blow dried so I can show you how wavy/curly my hair is without blow drying it....
:
: OK, I don't know where that's gonna put the pic, and it isn't the best pic, but you can see (somewhat) how much curl my hair has. Now, the pics of me on the pic page is after using a blow dryer and large round brush. I buy the largest, I think they're 2" diameter, round brushes I can find.
: This may clear up your "wing" problem.
I'll second Sherri.
I used to have layered hair back when it was in, amd the only way to stop it curling the wrong way was to blow dry it.
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by John Doe on January 21, 2004 at 14:56:47: Previous Next
In Reply to: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:12:00:
Dude...just leave it alone. Stop getting trims, and let it grow. Look at Treyn's hair. He finally stopped getting trims and let it grow and his hair looks fantastic now.
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by Reflective on January 21, 2004 at 21:59:11: Previous Next
In Reply to: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:12:00:
Trims are your enemy. They are prolonging the awkward stage and making you suffer needlessly. Let your hair grow so that it's own weight can pull it down and control it for you. Trims are how you make short hair neater, not how you make long hair neater.
I'm with ya... annoyed also..
Posted by Evil Milkman on January 21, 2004 at 22:37:44: Previous Next
In Reply to: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:12:00:
I'm getting fed up with dealing with my hair... The two weeks start today, though I'm more than sure I'll have a good hair day that will change my mind. Sometimes I don't think it's worth the trouble, other days I never want it to go.
Re: I'm with ya... annoyed also..
Posted by BIll on January 22, 2004 at 05:27:04: Previous Next
In Reply to: I'm with ya... annoyed also.. posted by Evil Milkman on January 21, 2004 at 22:37:44:
:Erik: Your hair is super. Don't even consider cutting it. It's really gorgeous. You wear the color, the waves, and the length very well. It really looks great. I truly envy you. The pictures show great quality and great care.
Re: I'm with ya... annoyed also..
Posted by John Doe on January 22, 2004 at 14:15:48: Previous Next
In Reply to: I'm with ya... annoyed also.. posted by Evil Milkman on January 21, 2004 at 22:37:44:
What are you talking about...your hair looks incredible. I'm jealous of the progress every time you post a progress picture. It just takes time (which can be frustrating) to get it exactly where you want it. It probably just needs to get a little longer so it has the weight to hold it in place.
You're making incredible progress, and with a little patience, before you know it, it will be where you want it.
Re: I'm with ya... annoyed also..
Posted by Sorted on January 23, 2004 at 09:12:40: Previous Next
In Reply to: I'm with ya... annoyed also.. posted by Evil Milkman on January 21, 2004 at 22:37:44:
: I'm getting fed up with dealing with my hair... The two weeks start today, though I'm more than sure I'll have a good hair day that will change my mind. Sometimes I don't think it's worth the trouble, other days I never want it to go.
I gotta temporary fix... I've taken to wearing a half-tail or "double-half tail" on bad hair days. Still I wish my hair would look and feel good enough for me to wear it loose.
Try it on the bad days.... It keeps me happy for a few days...
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by fjk on January 24, 2004 at 11:06:33: Previous Next
In Reply to: Annoyed... posted by Sorted on January 21, 2004 at 12:12:00:
If you dislike your hair long, get a haircut!
I have not had a haircut in 20 years but that does not mean if it ever annoyed me I would not. Long hair is not for everyone. It requires a few more minutes to dry, detangling and perhaps can be a physical hazard for industrial environments.
For me, long hair is LESS maintenance than short. Some hairtypes or personality types are just short haired. Nothing wrong with that!
Re: Annoyed...
Posted by Sorted on January 26, 2004 at 13:48:30: Previous Next
In Reply to: Re: Annoyed... posted by fjk on January 24, 2004 at 11:06:33:
:
: If you dislike your hair long, get a haircut!
No I like it, I just wish that the bad-hair-days weren't so pronounced.