Let's be thoughtful of one another

Let's be thoughtful of one another
 Posted by One of Victor's helpers on February 09, 2002 at 22:02:34: Previous Next

Victor spends his own money to provide this web board for us without advertising. He also, with some volunteers, does maintenance on it. Old posts have to be moved to the archives and inappropriate posts have to be dealt with. This web board and the work to maintain it is all stuff we are getting for free.

Over 90% of the people who come here see what the community is about or get that from the FAQ and they seldom cause us any problems at all. The remaining few percent who cause problems almost all do it "not on purpose". The reason for this post is to ask we all think a little about what we are about and why Victor has recommeded some things we should think about before posting. They are in his FAQ.

Victor asks that we only use one name or handle. Aliases are okay, and sometimes there's a reason you "need to be someone else". (Hey, I'm doing it now - the reason is "we volunteer in the background".) If you take on new identities when others see no worthwhile need, this misleads others and it is not fair. Others only wish to give you one vote when things are talked about, and if you weigh in on several different topics, it is only polite to others to let people know you're the same guy. The way to do that is use the same name all the time.

This is a public place. There are men and women here, so find a clean way to say something if you can - sometimes you need a questionable word to get a point across, but not often. There are adults here so don't be too juvenile, there are children here so don't be too racy. There are straight and gay people, native and non-native speakers of English, all races, and many nationalities here. We're all here to make life better for longhaired men. Let's not forget that includes all longhaired men. Before you set off to diss someone, think for a minute. He is probably just another longhaired man like you.

Make your English teacher proud. None of us care about your English teacher, but good English is POWER. If you go to the trouble to write a post, you want it to go its farthest distance. Well-written posts get read and remembered most, and that's why you wrote yours. In the same vein, if someone who has less English skills than you comes along, and you got what he means, his English did its job so leave it at that.

And finally, most longhaired men have been subjected to unpleasant comments about having long hair, and some have been subjected to violence. This is serious stuff for many here, and it's not an area for joking around about or posting untrue stories about, just like we don't joke about bombs at the airport. Fake stories cause the community to expend its limited energy for no reason, and they can jade us, causing us to not be there for a guy who comes along when his need for us is real. If haircuts turn you on, there are other places on the web to go with that to. We don't want to hear about it here.

When we feel posts don't comply with this stuff, we have to remove them. When posts contain questionable words or come from people who've been problems, someone has to review them. This takes time, and when 90%+ of the people who come here cause few problems, we just are not driven to devote much time to this. So please, those of you who mean well, think before you post. To sum it up, please use one name, use clean language, and don't post anything that shows a disrespect for others. This is one way you can show you appreciate what Victor is providing here. For those who cannot do this, we may just exclude you altogether. We just don't have the time to devote to high maintenance people.

One more note. Be safe. We see a lot at the web site head end that you don't see. People are not always who they seem to be. Also, only a few identify themselves enough that you can tell who they are anyway. Never send photos to someone you don't know unless you'd be comfortable posting them for the world to see. You don't know who they are or what they will do with them. For all you know, your "before I started growing out my hair" photo may show up on a haircutting fetish site with it labeled "what he looked like after I cut it off". You are wise to think carefully before sending or posting any photos when they are asked for by others. And of course, never send a stranger photos of children.

Be well....


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